Friday, January 3, 2014

Family




When my kids were little, we gave the first four names based on their personalities. “kin” and “sthetic” and “stub” and “born”.  They still have distinct personalities but their nature is fairly easily recognized. Two are very stubborn internal learners and two are very touchy, feely tactile learners, thus, kinesthetic.


As they've become adults, their nature doesn't change.


The stubborn tend to learn the hard way. They tend to not take advice, even though they might ask for it and they are going to do it their way anyway. YOU are wrong and THEY are right! They will alienate themselves from those who love them most and tell them the truth because they don't want people that don't agree with them, telling them they are wrong. My kinesthetic ones  may go on with their plans but they are “softer” about their conclusions. They don't want to lose family in the process.


Somewhere in that mix-up, the words, introvert and extrovert make their appearance. In this society, feelings have decided to take center stage and judgements are now based on how you should have said something to convey your point. Truth is to be based subjectively not objectively.


GROW UP!


What happened to people being able to have a different opinion, state it and go on? The world is not made up of everybody liking what you are going to do but can't they verbalize their opinion and others live with it? Part of playing fair is to know where others stand. Truth is black and white. When it becomes subjective based on who is invovled, society falls apart. The lines become blurred because there is no definition of what is truth.


Parents do not have to embrace adult childrens decisions. That doesn't mean they don't love them. That means they don't like what they are choosing to do. That is part of life and living in a world where you agree to disagree. Families have the right of family to be in your face because they love you more than anybody else in the world. They know your personality and your tendencies because they birthed you and raised you. They want only the best for you. They above all others look down the long road ahead of you and see potential potholes because they have your best interest at heart.


It comes back to honor.


If you respect those who gave you life and got you to the point you are at, you will value their opinion more than your own. They have already lived through the hard knocks.You may go ahead and do what you want but your parents don't have to be cut off or alienated from day to day interaction just because they don't agree with your decisions. Parents really only want the best for you and they will risk alienation in order to keep you from pain that you cannot see, because you are blinded by "love". Why? Because they really are your best friend and only want the best for you.


Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it. Prov. 22:6
I still  believe it, even if I don't see it.